Some parents have it easy. Some parents have it hard. Either way it never easy to watch your child pass away. What does it means to make your child "comfortable"?!? Do you take away all the medicines and keep them heavily sedated in hopes that they is not in any pain? How do you know that your making the right choice? Do you ever give up hope?!? Well I would never give up hope...but for the pass 3 weeks I have been watching my daughter pass away and wonder one of those questions every 10 mins.
Earlier today the palliative care team suggested going down on the breathing rate on her ventilator for a more "natural" death I was at lost for words. How could I live with myself knowing I had a hand in the passing away of my daughter? Mind you understand that some parents have to make those difficult decisions but I cant do it. Or can I? Am I making her suffer because I am selfish and wants her to be here with me a little while longer?
Lord please just give me strength to keep going threw this battle with her. Lord please give me a sign so I know what to do? Lord, I know your always in the healing business and if you see fit for her to be here then she will be here. I just dont know what to do Lord and if your calling her home to You than I understand that as well and will do my best to not question you because I know she will finally be able to be a kid. A kid free to enjoy life and I know one day we will all meet again.
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